Why CEOs Universally Suck

Shareholder value, enshittification, attractive companies, and stagnant wages all come from bad design

Senior Brogrammer

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As human beings who do things like drink coffee while driving, it’s tempting to look across the street at the hippy coffee shop and wonder why they can’t make coffee faster. Maybe you hate the fact you’re constantly rushing for work, not sitting around and enjoying a cup. Hopefully, you don’t come to that conclusion on your deathbed.

That being said, the shop stays open despite lacking optimal coffee production. It won’t become Starbucks anytime soon, but fuck, it works, or it’s a drug front.

Any sane person would feel this is acceptable, but it wouldn’t satisfy long-term in practice. Consistent year-over-year earnings without massive growth doesn’t satisfy us.

We want the coffee fast and just as damn good. And a CEO’s job is to lie that this is the current state of the hippy coffee stand if they took over.

Mr. Worldwide

I’m ultimately undecided whether we like to prop people up with an impossible amount of responsibilities or whether psychopaths enjoy getting up to this position. Maybe it’s a combo of both per situation, but it’s clear that CEO isn’t a realistic job title. Is it bad they’re blamed for everything terrible under an organization…

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