I Like Having No Real Friends at Work

I’m a miserable, lonely soul with no prospects, according to hustle culture

Senior Brogrammer


When you lie on your death bed saying goodbyes, do you think any coworkers will be around? Those company mottos of being family hit differently before dying from a heart attack because you sacrificed personal health for productivity.

It’s more than acceptable to blame health issues on the nature of work. Fuck hustle culture. Take a break, and take care of yourself.

Suck my cock if you think otherwise.

Brogrammer Writes Better When He Pops Off

Ok, a little about me. I’m not some life of the party. I’m a pretty mediocre dude with tragic flaws like the rest of y’all.

So, I might not be at the one-person talking Zoom 30-minute get-together to have a few beers. I quit drinking recently and haven’t missed much besides having water at a restaurant. I thought if I told the audience, it would hold me accountable. I was also stroking my ego.

I’m not friends with any of my coworkers. I won’t text them to grab coffee outside of work. And it’s great. Nothing extra is added to my interactions besides work. I have solid working relationships and found good people to work with at my job consistently. They’re great people with shit going on. I don’t have to hang out with you to be working with you. Fuck I’ll cheer for you from the sidelines for having a hobby.

It’s kind of nuts this is something to even brag about.

I see these people more than my family, yet I couldn’t care less. I hope they’re happy and healthy. I hope they feel the same way.


I’ve worked hard to set myself up to keep working with work. It’s not the best idea for my future long-term success or moving up the ladder, but I cannot invest myself to dedicate my life to being just productive or making money. I (and most people begrudgingly) don’t think about how to build some innovative product or fully invest in a current one. I’d instead do my shit.

This allows time for shit like jiu-jitsu and yelling at people in counter strike.

So I’ll bitch about the nature of work and not “start my own business,” as those nerds on LinkedIn exclaim about. Those aren’t real people. Stay in this blog, and don’t go back.

The fuck was I was talking about? Oh ya, don’t get too invested by having friends at work. It fucks everything up.

Thanks for the read.